Here’s a list of things to do or NOT do when someone you know is getting married
1. Do NOT Assume you’re invited – No matter what your relationship is with someone, everyone’s criteria for wedding planning will be different. This includes, but isn’t limited to budget and invites which go hand in hand.
2. Do NOT Assume you’re in the wedding – Standing up in someone’s wedding isn’t just something you do to get cute pictures or a new dress. It means you have shown that you support the union and the individuals making a LIFETIME commitment to one another. Having a big wedding party shouldn’t be a goal. Having a wedding party you can hold accountable should be!
3. Do NOT Shame someone in public for not inviting you jokingly or otherwise – I once had someone sit in a meeting and proceed to tell me how they were so salty they didn’t have an invite. Everyone awkwardly laughed it off, but it was so embarrassing and uncomfortable for me. If you aren’t sure as to why you weren’t invited to my wedding, please address me about it directly. A call is most appropriate. If you don’t have my number to call me, well… that’s all I’ll say about that.
4. Do NOT Question alcohol choices when a dry wedding is the move –
A. I don’t drink so it’s not fully representative of me and my comfort or preferences
B. Alcohol is EXPENSIVE for weddings and considering you’re not even planning to bring a gift, hush!
C. Drink when you leave. And consider getting professional help if you’re that upset about it
5. DO Reference the wedding website (especially out of town guests) – I hated having people call and texts me about stuff all the time. “I lost my invitation, where is it again”? “Where should I stay”? “What is there to do in Milwaukee anyways”? My husband and I worked hard to put so many details on the website. Look at it and click the various tabs and I promise you, all your questions and more will be answered.
6. DO Send your RSVP card back – Don’t text me to RSVP! Don’t call or assume that I’ll assume you’re coming. It’s so hard to keep up with calls and texts from 100+ people. Sending in the cards helps the couple to stay organized and keep an accurate count.
7. Do NOT show up if you don’t RSVP – Enough said
8. Do NOT assume you have a +1 – If I have never had a convo with your significant other for the week, please don’t bring them to my wedding without my consent. My wedding was very personal and private and I only wanted people there who truly loved and supported my husband and me.
9. I said NO kids – It’s not because we don’t love your children. It’s because that’s the preference that we have and we don’t owe anyone a thesis to explain why. Be happy for some adult time away from your children or stay home with them. Your choice.
I truly could go on and on, but please consider these things when someone you know is getting married. Wedding planning and going into marriage bring enough stress to people… do NOT add to it!