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My eyes were closed mostly

But it didn’t matter much anyway

Some tasks do not require sight

Only that you feel

And man…did I feel

The ebb and flow of pain followed by a little relief

But not much – anticipatory respite

To assure me the pain was coming


Panic, sheer panic

With legs sprawled

Modesty gone out the window

Of one of the most beautiful days in November

A beautiful Carolina November day

Mimicking a day just three years before

Where the weather was the same

But today….today was not the same

Today I would add a new person to the world

Today I did woman’s work

Trading in white for blood red

Flowers for true bloom

Rings for fire

Taking a hand…for giving a breath

She’s coming!  We can see her head!

Blasphemy!  (I could FEEL her head)

And then a whisper…

…In a tone below the frequency of all others in earshot

Only you can push her out

Only you…

So.  Push!


Photography by Ella Jardim