Pendeja or pendejo is a Spanish word commonly used in Puerto Rican culture that would describe an individual that does dumb shit. As of late, I’ve been such a pendeja ?. No, I’m not out here committing crimes, muffing babies, or running into walls. I’m going through a MAJOR transitional period in my life in which a lot of personal mistakes are happening due to growth and my previous reluctance to life’s uncomfortable lessons. I don’t know if turning 30 this year is a factor but I want to face myself and my demons. Here is my thing about this growth, I refuse to change my essence I only want to enhance it towards a positive light. What makes me who I am is why I have an ignorant laugh and why I can take a joke and throw it right back at you but I must admit some parts of my essence needs a tune-up. Shall we discuss the levels of my pendejaism? (Yup, made that shit up.)
SO! I’ve decided that every week I will put actual effort into tuning up my essence. With one thing at a time, step by step I will face myself and all my fuckery. Within that process, I want to create new paintings and drawings because all my work is emotionally driven and I’m curious on what will come out of this journey. I’m excited and also uncomfortable but fuck it sometimes in order to make real change you have to challenge yourself and I’m no PUSSY.
This week….my past. Ufff this is touchy but necessary. Let’s see what I report back next week. Till then.