From the time I was 11 until I was 13 I wore the same blue hat with a Sponge Bob Squarepants patch backward on my head. It was my security blanket when my Dad got a new job and we had to move to a different part of the country. When I got to middle school it became clear what clothes girls wore and I stopped wearing my hat.
I’ve been out of the closet officially for a little over a year now and I think a lot about that hat. The little tomboy that wore it let herself get dirty at recess and didn’t limit herself. She proudly wore her brother’s hand me downs and shopped from the boy’s section at Kohls. She let her imagination run wild with possibilities about life and where it could lead.
Since coming out I’ve started wearing a hat again. Wearing it reminds me of the confidence and strength I used to give myself. It reminds me of my own dreams and expectations that I aspired to. It makes me look up to the cool little kid I used to be and reminds me she’s still there.
I’m just so happy to have a hat back in my life.