a poem by Andrea Azarian

It is the case in this life sometimes

That the hardness we create

To wall off the pain

Leaks droplets of

Peaceful residue

We were once full of.

“Why you got an attitude?”

Did you really just ask me that?

I’m standing here clothed but naked

My soul exposed

My skin raw

My heart pumping the blood

Of millions of women

Of course I have an attitude

I have been torn and mangled

And bruised and berated

All of my organs have been

… uh…caressed

At least that’s what they all have thought

That they were doing me a favor

They they could make me feel

Like no one else ever has

But I didn’t give permission

I didn’t provide you with that space

I didn’t need you, him, them

To make me feel like a woman

At least not in that way

So yeah I stand here

In front of you

With an attitude

Because you…

I love you

And through all of the

Disrobing of my soul

Through all of the

Bricks and mortar

That I have to chisel through

Just to allow myself to feel

To allow myself to trust

I stand here naked

But clothed

Breathing my womanhood

My love

My soul

Into your fragileness

In hopes that you

Are able

To be the one

Who is strong enough

To be with me

But I see now

that you

Don’t get it

You are them

And I had hoped for so much more

I had seen

So much more in you

But my senses

My perceptions

My superpowers

Have been dented

And I am so sad

That I was


About you

You’re still beautiful

In so many ways

But I can’t heal you

You want me to

But I can’t

And you can’t