a poem by Z.L

In those weeks when I felt
empty and hungry,
The truth came to light.
It punched me in the gut,
Made a home in my chest,
The deep crushing physical pain,
Of wanting someone who no
longer wants you.
It felt like a short, sharp drop.
A knife in the back,
Cut from the wrist,
Legs dangling.
I was left wondering and waiting
And missing and willing some
show of affection.
But it had been stamped out,
Cut off, ripped away in front
of my eyes.
Now I could see it,
The gradual removal.
There were knots in my stomach,
Aches in my bones, conversations
And arguments and rationalizing
in my head.
But you can’t change it.
That’s not in your control.
You can say your piece,
You can hear theirs too.
But the aching won’t stop.
It’s hard when you put your soul into something,
Dropped everything at a moment’s notice
Was always there
Was the shoulder to cry on
The strong, steady rock
And gave everything,
Every part of emotional support,
And lost it there too.
It’s hard when you’ve given your all to someone,
Every inch of yourself.
Because when they decide to walk away,
And they will,
Oh trust me, they will,
They’ll be nothing left of you.
Just an empty shell.

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