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The Children’s Way

We forget the days of

Our ambiguous bodies.

Young frames, stretching

Away from the weight of gravity.

We were aware of neither

Death nor life,

Thus words of dislike

Would not yet cling to us,

Like labels.

We were too young.

Too unaware of the words

They said.

If only, for our mind’s sake, Continue reading The Children’s Way

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I Don’t Know

They ask me if I would move back to Africa

And I hesitate, emotion tied up in my tongue, drowning out the sound of what would probably proceed to wailing

I say, “I don’t know”

Finally words that they can comprehend

Because what I meant to say was:

“I” have emotionally closed myself off from feeling anything since I moved back to America

“Don’t” know if I could visit because it might be too painful

“Know” if my dreams of living overseas are realistic anymore

But my “I Don’t Know” is enough of a response to move on in conversation

But I stay there, chipping away at the truth in the room, waiting for the words to flow out and grab me, bringing me closer to closure

But how do you gain closure from a continent?

Or properly say goodbye to a nation?

There is no one letter I could write or conversation that could sever the pain I have been feeling

For now, there are only three words and a ocean full of memories.

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They ask, “How do you feel?”

You struggle for a word, locked behind doors, behind walls, behind ego

One syllable words flow with passive aggression and you’ve learned that “okay” is your favorite answer

You say that they do not need to know

But emotion is asking for the permission to be voiced

Permission to rebound from closed off vocal chords but you have not given the say so

You are shut off, numbed off from the reality that you have not told the truth for a long time

You have gone through the motions and now you are stagnant waters

A pool of water stuck under night and sun, rain and light, dirt and grime, anger and joy, testing and time Continue reading HOW DO YOU FEEL

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M.O. (Mode of Operation)

“Life waits for no one”, they said

So I ran

Shoes in one hand and my dreams in the other I ran for life to discover me and sprinted myself to exhaustion

No one told me that I could turn into my worst enemy against the clock of my own making

I am stuck – waiting for the car in the distance to stop running

Waiting for the engine to give out and release steam, unclogging my faulty brain and all the gears that have convinced me that I can not just give it a rest

Let me know when I can stop

When I can stop running after cars in the distance while I am panting out of breath due to unceasing timed tests Continue reading M.O. (Mode of Operation)