As Seen Before

a poem by Shanice Ariel

This is how I die now.
Disappeared with silence.
Screams blurred and somehow I feel better.
Thumbing lights, thundering beats of my soul breaking.

Crimson red.
These scars will never go away.
No self pity.
Cold to the bone.
Punishing myself.
Easing the pressure inside me.
Coping to find a way to keep surviving.
Excited to feel this alive.
Making intrinsic movement so no one could see.
I was never alone.
No space to be me.
Unbearable emotions.

I needed to see a reminder – stop feeling numb.
Rose colored glasses
Slice the abstracted agony.
Scenarios in the making, fall below.

Who’s blood was proof of her tangibility.
Tortured to being the queen of silence.
I’m so ready for the higher dimensional forms to ease me away.
Shock myself out of the dark.
Unclear body movements, fragility.

Make me forget.
It hovers over me everyday for
the reasons why I’m not dead.

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