arrhythmia

Seeking love she
Thought Daddy didn’t give.
“I love you” didn’t come 
From benevolent places.
Sprung up from philosophical thoughts 
That shelter, food, clothing
Was love manifested
Physically,
But lacked sustainability
For her.
No hugs or kisses
Only austere words 
Undercut by acrid tones.
She didn’t understand this love
Because her heart beat unorthodoxly
Envisioning devotedness 
As delightful embraces
And tender pecks on forehead.
But love came in 
Belts and embarrassment.
Silent discussions about 
Her sexual awareness
Happened frequently
Without regard to her heart.
Her heart beats for a love 
Without a dismissal of
Feelings felt through
Intimate touches
And pleading caresses.
She sought to fill 
Empty pockets in her soul
By filling them with formless promises 
And pieces of fragmentized heart.

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