Having a muse is kinda the bomb. You have this figure that ignites creativity in you. This person can also be seen as a trigger. Alas, that’s where I am. I don’t know if I like living like this. I can, however, attest that this fucking feeling has taken me across the country. I think that’s the biggest change in my life. Confidence. I started focusing on myself. I had spent years trying to help others. Grant it, some people don’t want help. Forcing it on them actually causes them to “hate” you. You are trying to do something for another person, but it is seen as controlling? Sigh.
Well after a series of events transpired, I placed my energy into me. This energy started bringing to me people who wanted my help! This blew me away. I used to beg to help others. Now the tables have turned. I feel really useful and that makes me feel like I was never “broken” in the first place. I was just around company that was ungrateful, but somehow determined I was disrespectful.
My daily life is pretty chill. So being in any range of dramatic is not me. The only time I am agitated is if it is purposely being done. I don’t understand that behavior so that’s when I am triggered. “35,000 Choices”, really just highlights what we go through on the daily. It is almost as if our life is already up running and we just jog along.
But as Janet says, ” I want to be the one in control.”