Posted on

when a man loves a woman that is magic

from what I understand
she was a hoodoo woman.
she was honey.
she was magic.
she was a late night in my bed.
she was a trickle of laughter,
a press of lips,
a flutter of my heart,
a glimpse of forever.

from what I understand
she knew me before I saw her.
she knew the press of steel
in the palm of my hand.
she knew bloodied showers
and scars that kept me up at night.
she knew what kept me up at night.

from what I understand
I was lost before I moaned her name.
I was lost & not looking for a way out.
I was lost until my mother called my name
I was lost…
and my only language was her name.

from what I understand
the baby grew and grew
while I went and got found.
from what I understand
the baby has her mother’s mouth
and my eyes.
eyes that couldn’t see
the heart she had handed me,
so it got handed back.

and now my hands are empty.
my chest is too full—
her name is pain on my lips.
my name is pain on her lips.
and now our pain is a baby on her hip.
our pain is split between loving the baby on her hip
and regretting what made the baby on her hip.

from what I understand
I am a blind man
letting history lead me around
by the nose & not allowing me to smell life.
not allowing me to place my face
in the crook of her neck
and call it home.
not allowing me space
to get full on love.
not allowing me to see my baby’s face
and how it looks like her face.

from what I understand
I am a no good man
because her face
doesn’t wake up
to see my face.

and that is a truth
I can barely face.

(image by Kevar Whilby via unsplash)