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The Wall

She doesn’t know what she wants anymore

She is lost

In the depths of her thoughts

But what keeps her going is the one piece of light that follows her

Her one hope

That maybe

She could be happy

Each day for her is a new day

With the day before distant in her memory

The tangles of feelings in her heart

Begin to form a wall within her

So that nothing can break through

It’s invisible

It’s silent

But it’s there

 

This wall of protection

Or perhaps this wall of demise

Will not fall for anyone

Not even the ones she loves

Or the ones who love her

Because even those people create a new tangle everyday

 

It’s not as though she wants this

She doesn’t want to live with the inability to let people in

She doesn’t want to be alone within herself

But she has to

Because each person she has let in has not only destroyed the wall

But also destroyed her

Her wall gives her safety

And those people gave her destruction

 

So she lives

With only the pad of paper

She carries with her

That knows it all

Crying for someone to help her

Crying for someone to accept her tangled wall

Crying for someone to not want to destroy the wall

But to want to take it down piece by piece

With care