More often than not we let ourselves be surrounded by negativity. And things keep going wrong and we believe it’s wrong and unfair and we feed the cycle till we’re buried underneath it all.
After a while, we stop asking if that’s how it should be. And then we forget how it all started. We are forever lost in the darkness inside ourselves that was originated elsewhere but placed there. And we believe we deserve it. And we believe it’s our own damn fault. And it is. And it’s not. It is because we let it grow and take over. It’s not because we are not responsible for the environment we live in.
Continue reading Blessing or Lesson
Maybe it is best
left as a mystery,
all the sacred things
you hold dear,
for you to breathe.
Even as you notice
the most sincere
principles of reality–
you condemn all the fake
that screams in your face,
and that knowledge may lead
to even more intricate puzzles,
fluttering down from
somewhere to nowhere,
like lazy words writhing
mystically in the dark.
She is not always methodical in her actions,
she had never, in her strange time on Earth
been so inadvertently hurt,
and it was blithely unexpected.
Continue reading So Many Questions
She was constantly battling tainted thoughts
that were grotesque in the way that their goal
was always to destroy her, bring her down.
Could someone have the ability to see her calm?
To entice it? To think it was graceful and angelic?
She imagined it would be like spotting a rare butterfly
or catching a glimpse of how a waterfall glimmers on a
precise angle of the sun–fleeting, yet a moment to treasure.
Photography: Lanaya @writing.for.the.calm
I wish I could reminisce like you for some sorta time and space I felt safe. But since a young age I had to learn to hold myself and know despite it all, I was still enough. But as you would have guessed, I didn’t know that and spiralled down a really dark path. No, there were no alcohol and drugs, there was something worse, the constant battle with crippling feelings of ‘not enough’.
Imagine growing up believing you should not exist at all. Imagine how would you turn out. I wish I could say I’m turned out ok, but I guess that’s not the complete truth. Even though you may see me holding it together, I’m no more found than you.
We’re lost and alone in the journey back home trying to grow along the way. Even if we do find souls that help us carry the load, in the end we’re the ones to answer to what we let go.
Maybe it would be easier had I learned differently from what my childhood branded in me. But I’ll never know and it doesn’t matter. I’ve learned to make of my self what brings me peace and let go of the misconceptions in my system of beliefs.
© Máh Lima
Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash
Love is always a world away.
Either you sell your soul up front
or give it freely for an unattainable need–
regardless, the smiles fade into obscurity.
Your lips may drip or bend, like a
willow tree in a lonesome field,
hoping to hear wisdom in the breeze.
How do you come out unbroken when
indigo shadows carry you far away?
They blind you in your silence
coercing wispy, imposters in your day.
Thoughts invade your imagination,
tickling your quest for peace,
forcing red around your heart
sending up a frantic fleet.
How do you press on when
you cared more than ever before,
the hurt gaining strength and
constantly reminding you
of all you have lost?
Numbing distractions, avoidance,
they are the easy path.
Embrace the pain you’ve earned,
push on, the ache, can’t surely last.
These first days of October have definitely been grim,
no one can quite understand anything that’s happened.
I’m sure, like most, I don’t know all the right words to say,
but I know we need to show each other more kindness,
Was it still night?
There was no instant
way of knowing this.
Despair tried to sidle
in, cooing, “Look at all
you could have done.”
Continue reading Ruby Embers
Sometimes we get scared of happiness because happiness is the unknown. We say we want it, we say we crave it, but we don’t do anything to achieve it or if we do, we sabotage ourselves on the last minute. Continue reading Happiness