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Breathe Deep, My Love

It’s bittersweetness was revealed to me
On many occasions.
I often wondered how it didn’t destroy me
Or leave me broken beyond repair.

I did feel useless often,
Like a distant memory, you tried to forget.
But I never forgot you
Or the pain of betrayal. Continue reading Breathe Deep, My Love

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Awkward Girl: Day 2

Ok. So, things are going well.

This is the thought I’m having tonight. This is going well. Only a few slightly awkward interactions crept into the evening thus far, so I’d say…winning. For instance, it begins with me contemplating whether to go in for the hug, a kiss on the cheek, or a peck on the lips. Being the fourth date, it is appropriately confusing. So what happens? Naturally, I do some combination of the three aforementioned options, and I end up, kind of, sort of kissing him on (in?) the ear. I KNOW that shit was loud. Right. In. His. Ear. Continue reading Awkward Girl: Day 2

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Why?

Why do you hate us?

 

Perhaps it’s the way we become one with the sun.

The way Spanish dances on our tongues,

a language not native to your blood.

 

Our skin embellished with invisible scars.

Roadmaps our ancestors left us to conquer

your vile hearts.

 

Is it not enough that you’ve deemed us the

unwanted guest of our homes?

You ban us from the soil where

we’ve planted seeds,

then harvest the fruit

and determine whose worthy of eating.

 

You feed off our pain and make a mockery

of our plights.

 

Steal our children, like a thief In the night.

Break up families, like we break bread.

 

A force of evil so grotesque

That demon’s themselves

look at you with admiration.

 

You were never deserving.

My ancestors were too kind.

The day you got off that ship

The devil laughed in delight.

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Untitled

I try to swallow the pain

Before it eats me up.

The sharpness of it cuts my throat

Its bitterness makes me gag and choke

It digs deeper into my body

And attempts to venture into the depths of my soul.

But it hits my intestines,

Comes back up forcefully and

I projectile vomit it across the room.

My body rejects its presence,

But my mind welcomes it.

And I try to swallow the pain again.

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Awkward Girl: Day 1

Day 1 (Isn’t it always?):

Awkward girl. That’s me. Welcome to my world.

You know, the thing about life, is that it is confusing. It is excruciatingly complex. Why does no one tell us this when we are young? I often wonder about that. We all figure it out eventually. We grow up and think: What in the ever living fuck is happening? And yet, here we are, remaining baffled and, well…awkward. Someone please. Help me understand. Continue reading Awkward Girl: Day 1

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Breeze as an Afterthought

When Love Breezes on by.

Torrid breeze

need to sneeze

spring came around

allergy bound

stuffing noses, sensitive eyes

plucking petals makes me cry.

Within a sickly state

met a special someone on a date

we spent nights and days

in a wanton haze

blurry and hot

in loving thought.

We felt immortal, too great

to let the spark die, wait

so we carved our joy

happiness, tacit cloy

in our favourite bench

we spent days clenched

together

in spite of disgusting weather.

https://www.instagram.com/readingbread_/

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Bitch, Anxiety.

I am tired of being sad. I just want to be fucking awesome. How in the fuck do you do that? I think it just comes to a point, when you are like fuck it. I am doing this. It is happening. If others don’t like it, they can suck it. I am sick of being PC. I legit spent over 20 years being hella proper. Okay, I am still proper. I like to swear though. I think it’s funny. So any fucking way…

I am tired of being sad. I don’t want to apologize for ever feeling sad ever. I think it’s awesome to feel. I think it is outstanding to be so moved that you move yourself into a depression. Only because there is an opportunity for a silver lining. When you’ve dug out of the muck and mire, there is hope. It is a beautiful sunshine minus the troll at the end with gold. You brush off your knees and think, “I made it. “ You went through hell to get to Heaven.

I am a lady with high anxiety. Oddly enough I am letting my fear of virtually everything drive me. So many people think that could be a bad strategy. Well if you have anxiety you totally get it. You get so nervous that you utter, “Fuck it.” That situation was your breaking point. I don’t know what it feels like to not be nervous. I wouldn’t trade my over sensitivity to stimulus for anything. It has literally taken me to Paris, Berlin and Sweden for some strange reason.

My stress self-exploits have recently brought me back to art. Creativity my haven from childhood. I am throwing my 1st exhibition and…

Well you’ll have to wait for the rest.

xoxoxo,

Christina