She had the spirit of an explorer;
that’s what led her to the water’s edge,
where this world ends and another begins.
She wanted to be one with the horizon,
that ethereal place
where land, sea, and sky are one.
Insatiable was her lust to learn
the mysteries of the heavens. Continue reading A Celestial Wish
In a large group setting,
the talented background player
begins a foray into melody
that results in frustration
to those unaccustomed
to such liberal motifs. Continue reading The Revolutionary
The kitchen cabinets.
The bathroom upon entering
The dryer. And the washer.
The back door. Closed but unlocked.
Even once, the car door
after retrieving our sleeping baby.
Then there was that time
in the new house
when we christened it loudly.
The bedroom door –
a forgotten necessity.
And our first guest in the living room –
Cheeks red; body a seated statue.
Maybe he thought we’d done it on purpose?
That’s what I would have thought.
You always forgot to close the fucking door!
And I…I sat with my legs open
How am I supposed to rid myself
Of this gnawing in my belly?
The lies that sit there
Will surely eat me from the inside out
The gut is a funny place
It does not like to be empty
Refusing to wait on the truths
That grow slowly in our gardens
Overly full of the easily accessible
All up ‘n down
I believe I’ll walk on. See what the end will be.
Clouds of unwavering doubt,
once casting her sky in muted tones of grey, had dissipated.
Relinquishing her dreams, leaving her open to brilliancy,
like a buried chest filled with treasures, when the sky opened
a golden light was cast; adorning her
with a glow, pulling out inspiration
like jewels, and shining her up
like a diamond.
The one you’ve chosen to spend your life with is an engineer kind of dude. He likes to build things. But baby, when he met you, you were already a stallion. An edifice. And so, he deconstructed you bit by bit…to see what in fact you were made of. It’s the only way he knew how to love. The problem is, he tired out. Too lazy or too preoccupied to put you back together again. So, here I am doing the work I did years ago. Building you up…again…as only I know how. As only I can.
A woman cannot fight a man. She will never win. He will hide parts of her in far off lands. He will place pieces of her soul into glass bottles and drift you off to sea. And in a fit of rage you can find him breaking the tools required for reconstruction.
This time you need to pay close attention. I will not be here forever. Putting a Queen back together is a lost art. Grab my toolbox – top shelf, right corner.
She is born with a naturally occurring third eye, nestled within the softest place on earth. If you do it right, it might just wink at you. Waiting is a cycle. Stillness is a cycle. Regeneration and resurrection? Both are cycles. She wants no parts of your war – no parts of the blood you spill. (She often twitches at the day men were allowed into labor rooms.) The blood she spills is of living water; not of slain innocence and not of combat, campaign, or crusade. Yes, pay close attention to whom God granted His living water. It’s been said that it’s just too much. Too crass, too saturated, too heavy. Too brand new. The blood. Of cyclical possibilities with a scent of untouched earth waiting to be sown (or not). Rain on the horizon. Seeds taking root. Her insides – the great outdoors. It is her space and mine. Immense pain and immense pleasure. What of true life doesn’t birth both? Charged with the permutation of unadulterated first breaths! And we let them shame…tax…shun us for it. A gift. An offering. A safe space that everyone has at least once been familiar with. And we let them shame us for it? A built in clock synced with the moon, ocean tides…with her who stands with me and for me. And we let them shame us for it? Born with everything we need. To carry life. And we let them shame us for it? Phenomenal soil – watering itself from the inside out. And we let them shame us for it? Worth bleeding for. And we let them shame us for…the blood.
The next one…
He will be a fortress
And I, a skyscraping castle
A cathedral with roots
A temple with wings
We ain’t buildin’ shit…
…but a bridge
Today I want to create
Today I want white dresses
Painted in blood, in red dirt, in grass stains
In rays of sunshine
…Unwrinkled by the wind and wet heat
Today I want to create
Today I want seeds planted on the inside
(To be a walking ground; a foundation not phased by shifts)
Hands to my chest
So you may feel that the seeds beat too
(Just give ‘em some time)
Today I want to create
Today I want love dripping down my thighs
Until translucent turns flakey
Today I want my screams turned into song
My grip. Turned into push.
My tears turned into oceans blue
No, into freshwater true
Can you swim?
Are you thirsty?
Would you like me to bathe you?
Today I want to create
Today I want to be loved
…To loudly whisper love back into
Maa makes a salan for each son
because they like different things
but the beti needs to learn to make her own food
kyun ki uski age pe shaadi aur bachey hotey hain
larka jaan per be jaiy, jaise bi rai
maa ankh band karke osko kabi kuch boley gi nahi
beti aik galti kare
uski izzat zaban per aja ti hai
the sons can go out and party get a girl pregnant
but they’ll still be able to move on and find a good girl to marry
the girl stays out a bit later than 8 pm
might wear a t-shirt,
and the whole mohalla is calling her a slut, saying she’s no longer a virgin
we don’t love our girls as much as our sons
you have failed us girls
us girls are tired of walking on eggshells
of being thrown around, walked all over
and expected to have sabr
kehte hain betiyaan sab se bari rehmat hain
toh aaj hum ko kyun torey ho
Picture Credit: @thepakistanimarthastewart
Now I find myself dancing
to the frantic beat of my heart
at the threshold of judgment
desperate for a figment of
something positive, warm
but realise that I’m shackled
by cynical negations, galore.
Here demons wear masks
of noblemen and kings
and brandish their swords
Continue reading A dance in the dark
His lies were sweet,
turning my sourness to honey,
he carried the nectar Continue reading A Buzz
She is all the things
that which I am not,
her strength goes well beyond the
limitations of brute force,
where I stop to complain and cry,
Continue reading Woman
She lie on the bed; belly down and naked from head to toe. An ear to the mattress. And an ear to the wind from an open window. Her backside adorned with earned stripes – lightening strikes, winding Redwood roots, umbilical cords etched to her hips. And to his eyes. He dared not guess if the sun was setting or rising. But he knew…that it’s rays were finally learning how to illuminate themselves. Continue reading Rest and Shine
Clear it up
so that I
use your words
and Continue reading Straight Up
There was dust in her soul
that hadn’t just settled,
Like fine porcelain
tucked away and forgotten, Continue reading Wash & Dry
I often wondered if you were as sad as I was after you walked away. It pained me to say that perhaps you were not, and one day I had to let my hope dissipate. This is where I walk now, on the road taking me further away from you and any dreams I held onto. I stopped by the ocean for a while and tried to drop your name into the water, but I might as well have drowned myself because you were still inscribed all over me. Continue reading The Aftermath by Samihah Pargas
The world heard your sorrowful apologies
the one with the tears
how you truly meant it wouldn’t happen again
I heard the lies
I heard the sorry that really was saying
I really don’t mean any of this crap
I just don’t want to look like the bad guy
I really meant to do all that shit
and I will continue it
Because we both know
you hated for anyone to
tell you what to do
I heard your plastic words
I heard you slither
I felt the stab with every
pathetic apology of yours
I heard your abuse
I heard your ego crush a bit
I heard you fake cry
I heard you lie
I heard the true you
through the mask
I heard what I was trying to quit
I held up the mirror
you refused to look through
you kept me in shackles
so I feared to face you
I dare not come
wipe the slate clean
without your permission to
you’d happily accept my hue
we revert back
100 plus years
and in order to be accepted
I allow myself
to be used