The Abstract Auto-Bio
The quietest noise I ever made, made a huge impact on paper. Or was the impact felt on canvas? I go in between mediums, like a medium? Okay, so I like double meanings. I am a lover of puns. I wish I could understand the complexities of my own mind. Let us travel into thoughts as they unravel.
Continue reading The Abstract Auto-Bio
I wish I could reminisce like you for some sorta time and space I felt safe. But since a young age I had to learn to hold myself and know despite it all, I was still enough. But as you would have guessed, I didn’t know that and spiralled down a really dark path. No, there were no alcohol and drugs, there was something worse, the constant battle with crippling feelings of ‘not enough’.
Imagine growing up believing you should not exist at all. Imagine how would you turn out. I wish I could say I’m turned out ok, but I guess that’s not the complete truth. Even though you may see me holding it together, I’m no more found than you.
We’re lost and alone in the journey back home trying to grow along the way. Even if we do find souls that help us carry the load, in the end we’re the ones to answer to what we let go.
Maybe it would be easier had I learned differently from what my childhood branded in me. But I’ll never know and it doesn’t matter. I’ve learned to make of my self what brings me peace and let go of the misconceptions in my system of beliefs.
© Máh Lima
Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash
She gave away her heart like broken pieces of raw diamond in a jewelry store. He’d saved up enough over the years to buy the ultra-diamond. The diamond of all diamonds. He wasn’t looking for just a piece. He’d sacrificed long and hard for the whole thing. She watched him in anticipation as he walked throughout the jewelry store. Certain that he’d choose the bigger, prettier, unbroken diamond that glittered and shone masterfully. Wholly. She was surprised when he picked her up and paid for her outright. With the contents of his satchel…
Where he kept
All of her
you. you are a diamond. in the rough. but. a diamond. sho-nuf! some. will look at you. seeing only your brokenness. one. thee one. will know your wholeness. giving credit. to what it took. to break you. be a gem.
Are you thinking about what you want? You are thinking about the actual projection of your thought. How complex? How beguiling? What does that even mean? Continue reading The Physics of Lack…
My eyes were closed mostly
But it didn’t matter much anyway
Some tasks do not require sight
Only that you feel
And man…did I feel
Continue reading push
Sometimes we get scared of happiness because happiness is the unknown. We say we want it, we say we crave it, but we don’t do anything to achieve it or if we do, we sabotage ourselves on the last minute. Continue reading Happiness
Listen to the hum.
The thought of speeding
down a side street
to beat a red light.
The wishing away.
The fear to face the truth.
The thoughts collected in
the blink of a traffic light.
Recognize your true reflections.
Continue reading Red Light Special.
dump all of that shit out of all of those bags
line those empty bags on the bed of which you sleep
on the bed that you make love on
on the bed you kneel before to pray
undo the seams
Continue reading Super Bag Lady
There was a time when checkmate was her future.
Then, she pushed a pawn, he advanced a knight.
They meddled with the squares,
black and white before them,
compounding into a lovely shade of gray.
He predicted her moves well in advance.
He may capture her queen, but she’s a goddess still,
taking his bishop deep within her game,
moving towards the grid that’ll change her name,
that makes her cherish the place they collided,
the end they strive to attain, with her on top,
in his face, in the place, on the board,
where even if he leaves her tied up in a corner,
with no moves, insane, she won just the same.
on rare days
when I end the eclipsing
of my own humanity
with that that is not
or maybe is less
and is similar
to a generous allowance
of too much peace
a semblance of deconstruction
brick by brick
I will make even
the most blessed
regret his presence
through realm warping shrieks
awakening disjointed logic
of failures and truth
relayed through eons
of oral tales
that were mumbled
carried like rushing water
tides of blood lines
wrought of disappointments
do not risk
your presence here