When I say it was a long time ago,
I mean that my nightmares are less frequent.
When I say that I’m over it,
I mean I think about it often.
I mean that I don’t function
without reminders of you.
Day to day
you are in my blood.
Surging through me
unseen, but felt.
Coursing through veins
I often dreamt of slashing.
I don’t want you here,
yet here you are.
Just like you said.
Photo Credit: Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash
Like a carver whittling away wood,
like a butcher slicing carcass,
like a razor piercing skin.
A needle etching into blood,
a knife engraving letters into a tree,
a dog tearing through bone.
Like a mosquito making meal of me.
You are always here, gnawing.
His are my favorite to ever look into, eyes so fierce they saw right through. He knew how to draw me in, he loved me all night. But once morning came, I was devoured by his bite. I long for the softness of the sheep I know is there, it’s just hidden far beneath the wolves course hair. I could plainly see, I wasn’t totally hopeless, I loved him even though I knew he was ferocious. Knowing at that time, I was just his prey, how could he help it, he was raised that way. Now I am just one of the pack, but I know each blue moon, to me he’ll come back.
We walked along the sand, intrigued by skies so blue.
I told you of all the years that I have thought of you.
How I tried to erase the memories that my mind always replayed,
how I tried for years to forget you,
how I tried to stay away.
But I realized for certain no one else will ever do,
you see you are my ocean,
and it has always been you.
Don’t look at me any differently.
Don’t cock your head to the side
with a half smile full of pity.
Don’t tell me you’re so sorry.
I wouldn’t change this for the world.
turned me into iron. I fought tooth and nail to stand here.
I bled for this to be over
and now it’s over.
Art Credit: Nour
Around this time last year was when I first set up my Instagram page and although this particular poem was not my first post. As this is a definition series, I thought it only fitting to post them in alphabetical order like a dictionary. The way I wrote the Definition Series was in sync with what I was feeling, and in this particular poem, it was acceptance. I’d been through a whirlwind of drama, emotions, and heartache but finally, in this poem, in that moment, I was at peace. Of course, it didn’t last long, I am a woman and hormones course through my veins every minute of every day so the feeling of acceptance didn’t last long, it was nice while it lasted.
This poem started as a one-liner. I’m sure it would’ve been a great hit on my Instagram feed. Looking at this piece now, I Continue reading Keeper