made me to be
Continue reading The Creator
made me to be
Continue reading The Creator
The ballad of the lemon
(Small poem on chromatic prohibitions)
(Yellow sun-blinding yellow-yellow yellow)
If you eat lemons will not have your period
If you eat lemons you will not have satisfactions
If you brush your hair while you have “those” things
You block them for sure
I come in and drop my bags. We arrived. 2 cats and our little lady for a month long excursion in the city. Neither of us is really seeking to complete this, however, it has to be done. I come with low expectations-as lowering my expectations was a strategy I used to sustain what is left of a 20-year long relationship. Lower and lower expectations went to find a level which was feasible to hold a semblance of balance.
I find myself tidying up the place while the baby is out my teen- our teen, actually, but mostly “my” day to day teen over the last 17 years. My day to day baby-as in the youngest vs immature- day to day youngest child.
I pick up clothing spilling out of bags and luggage. I place dirty dishes in the sink in prep for the dishwasher. I toss a load into the washing machine-set boneless chicken in the fridge to defrost for dinner. Log onto my computer to work from home; I cannot help but to bring my multi tasking habits with me. I sure meant to, however, I know an argument will ensue if I do not appear to be above the high expectations still expected of me as a mom, a partner, a house guest. An Apple living in an Oranges home for the next 4 weeks.
Sitting underneath the lamp at a side table located adjacent to the 50” screen flat screen is a book I have used a resource to building healthy relationships, “5 Love Languages”. Quizzically, I review the book -is it real? I am considering this because my partner clearly is missing the point of the book to know one’s own love language in an effort to leverage that strength-that language- to actively engage in a meaningful manner with your partner.
Acts of service
Words of affirmation
My #1 is Quality Time and #5 is Receiving Gifts. The exact opposite of my partner; per the book this combination is the hardest because the 2 people need to travel the farthest to get to a place of balance.
My possession of this knowledge has permitted me to give a pragmatic method to build strategies to have a semi-viable relationship.
Naïve at the time.
The book is not meant to be read alone; the challenges do not go away if only one person is the sole owner of the premise behind the 5 love languages.
My partnership has taken me to the point of desiccation where I have limited trust or reliability in this person. Where I now see this person and expect so little of him that a sur name and this last baby is what we share.
I have often thought that Gary Chapman needs to write a book titled, ‘Now that you are mature enough to be in a relationship- and have broken it-what can you do to get to center.’ Or a book called, ‘Were you ever at a center?’, because I suspect that is where I am at now; a desiccated Apple partnered with a plump Orange w/ hints of Apple undertones.
What is Poetry? Part 1
Poetry is the expanse of
the imagination that lies,
dormant though brooding
until it manifests itself in a bloom.
Poetry is a womb,
obsessed with itself
but self-aware enough
to know that it is bound for a tomb.
Poetry is a wound,
heartache expressed in words,
the reaction to how it hurts,
feeling how pain works,
like peeling back layers of a scab.
Poetry is a drab day,
suddenly lit by the sun’s rays,
bursting through gray cloud,
and splaying out, proud
to have finally beaten the gloom
and touching as much as it can.
Music: “We All Try” by Hendersin
Today I woke up to a hangry father
who had been awake for a few hours
but didn’t have anyone to cook for him
so instead of cooking breakfast for myself
I made sure his fragile ego was fed
A father’s words will shape
his son’s thoughts like clay.
You take a father away and
it’ll leave a young man handicapped.
See most of us are in rehab,
Continue reading The Chosen People
magnificent in all
that makes you, you
you with the nights,
your skies filled with stars
or utter blankness
After being watered
& held by
the rain for so long,
I wondered if
I would just drown
because I was only
surrounded by the
sounds of oceans
and the pounds of
Gone are the days when faded meant old;
Worn out, expired, out of touch;
When clothes had an expiring date;
Starting with the moment they get their first wash;
Things were only appreciated when they looked new;