There’s a faint voice in my chest
Telling me I have no time on which to hold
Insisting that I hurry
Whispering steadily, speedily
That I quicken my step
Hasten my ascent to ever fleeting success
Incessantly reminding me of my age
And that I am becoming too old for firsts or fresh starts
So I speak over myself
Drowning out the tick-tocking
While respecting that I only get so many before I end
I will acknowledge but will not fear time
Jealousy runs through my veins.
My mind turns against me with thoughts I can’t contain.
There’s no positive side to feeling this way.
It’s hard to hold back the snap,
things I never meant to say.
No, I know they’re not true.
It’s just that jealousy clouds me and I feel confused.
I am aware it’s not the best part of me
and it comes from all my hidden insecurities.
And the thought that maybe I am not enough…
Jealousy haunts me like a ghost.
But I am conscious of its presence
and I pray to God I will detain it.
Before, blind, I wreck havoc.
And hurt all the people I love.
Of a buttery paratha
And gharam chai
I was reminded
Be nice to everyone
Say thank you and sorry
Remember your manners
Make sure you’re clean
Respect your teachers
Don’t give them a chance
Only say how good religion is
So they get this
Terrorist image out of their head
And I thought to myself
How funny that I have to convince
Others to treat me
See me like them