Posted on

The Wolf

His are my favorite to ever look into, eyes so fierce they saw right through. He knew how to draw me in, he loved me all night.  But once morning came, I was devoured by his bite.  I long for the softness of the sheep I know is there, it’s just hidden far beneath the wolves course hair.  I could plainly see, I wasn’t totally hopeless, I loved him even though I knew he was ferocious.  Knowing at that time, I was just his prey, how could he help it, he was raised that way.  Now I am just one of the pack, but I know each blue moon, to me he’ll come back.

Posted on

Fool

It started with him
calling her beautiful, sexy
admiring her body
telling her how she fulfilled his fantasy
and so she thought it was love

then he started the insults
to get her to lose weight
to get her to change and form into
what he wanted

foolish girl fell for it
because she didn’t want to hurt him
didn’t know how to stand up on her own
thought it all comes with being in love

he then took it a bit further
wanted her to check in with him throughout the day
but never told her a word about what he was doing
only messaged her when he felt like it
but was furious when she did the same

she still stuck
she thought it was in the name of love

he never listened to her ideas, her thoughts
told her to stop making him sound dumb
so she stopped, she didn’t want to mess it up

she thought it was all love
and slowly she gave in to
every abuse he threw at her
into every game he played with her
slowly she was no longer herself
she was a fool
she was in a foolish love
a fake love
a toxin that killed her soul

 

photography by @chadmadden

Posted on

Twin beds

I book an appointment at the psychiatrist.
“An appointment for two.”
“You, and ?” the receptionist asks.
“Anxiety” I whisper. “Couples therapy.”

I try to fall asleep on a twin bed intertwined with cold sheets
But I cannot because the other half of my bed
Won’t stop murmuring.
He pulls me into his sheets,
By the wrists of my hands-
Afraid I may leave him for the daylight.
He says something about cheating-
About the satisfaction of enjoying anothers’ presence-
I hold myself captive near the lampshade and try to explain myself.
I tell him I have never truly slept in my bed
But he grits his teeth and slams the drawer open by the lampshade
I see his fists clench as he takes the Xanax away from me
He says Xanax takes me to bed, gets me to breakfast
It seems like a healthy relationship
But-
We-
The both of us-
We’ve been on and off since high school
But he’s stuck around; for the past two years
That is a healthy relationship, right?
I’m not sure anymore
It is the longest relationship I’ve ever had.

-Nicole Ruth