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“You Shouldn’t Have Bothered” by Michelle Mangal

If you knew how
I’d cry walking along the river
Tears leaking behind my sunglasses
After you’d left
You
Would never have said those pretty lies to me.

If you knew how
I’d break into so many pieces
I’m still finding pieces of that girl I once knew
Under my bed and in the back of the sofa
You
Would never have attempted to love me.

You both shouldn’t have bothered.

Sorrow has scored its lines into my face
Silver is growing from my head
I’m fed up of photos that show eyelids puffy from tears
Because I cry before, after, and during everything I do.
Yet would either of you have stayed
if you knew that worst was yet to come?

Who knew that I’d break and then
break some more
until all there is left of me is
just dust
and grains of salt.

Truly, right now I think
You shouldn’t have bothered.

And yes, I survived those other tears,
That old heartache
and all the other bullshit life had to offer.

But honestly, my love

If that is all

you have

to give to me.

You shouldn’t have bothered.

(Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash)