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Selfish…

You are selfish, so I don’t understand your thought process, but I need to…

I have to make sense of your decisions to, draw blood from my wounds…

Was that not enough?

Did my tears not satisfy you?

Was I emotionally too open, when I needed to be unavailable, to you?

Yet, like bees to flowers, you return ritually.  And I allow you to, fall back in to the space between, my heart and soul.

I let you, exist in the space that takes full control, of my ability to be rational.

You’ve always been the one, to give me purpose.

You fuel my desire to love, and for you I am jealous.

And, if I’m being honest, I’ve always despised the idea that someone else may experience, what I hold so dear.

Your love.

You  my dear, our love, is my greatest accomplishment.

And for us, I remain humble and honest…

That’s why it’s easy for me to tell you, you’re being selfish. No longer considering us, just you.

I thought I meant more.

I thought we had more.

But you have to keep me at a distance.

You make time for us when your schedule permits it.

And I am always available, because my heart yearns it…

So, I seem to be the only one, so in love with us that I compromise myself.

But, it seems that it’s still not enough, for you…

I can’t figure it out. You’re a puzzle I may never solve.

However, what I do know is that when I start being selfish, you won’t understand that shit at all…