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I Don’t Know

They ask me if I would move back to Africa

And I hesitate, emotion tied up in my tongue, drowning out the sound of what would probably proceed to wailing

I say, “I don’t know”

Finally words that they can comprehend

Because what I meant to say was:

“I” have emotionally closed myself off from feeling anything since I moved back to America

“Don’t” know if I could visit because it might be too painful

“Know” if my dreams of living overseas are realistic anymore

But my “I Don’t Know” is enough of a response to move on in conversation

But I stay there, chipping away at the truth in the room, waiting for the words to flow out and grab me, bringing me closer to closure

But how do you gain closure from a continent?

Or properly say goodbye to a nation?

There is no one letter I could write or conversation that could sever the pain I have been feeling

For now, there are only three words and a ocean full of memories.