We forget the days of
Our ambiguous bodies.
Young frames, stretching
Away from the weight of gravity.
We were aware of neither
Death nor life,
Thus words of dislike
Would not yet cling to us,
We were too young.
Too unaware of the words
If only, for our mind’s sake, Continue reading The Children’s Way
If you had told me
This could have happened,
I would have laughed,
Dancing away the danger
With the octaves coming
From my vocal chords.
I would not have believed
That life could be this cruel.
I would have convinced myself that
You were, in fact, a liar.
“This is my garden,
Where I water dreams
And uproot needy niggas. Continue reading “Gardener”
They ask me if I would move back to Africa
And I hesitate, emotion tied up in my tongue, drowning out the sound of what would probably proceed to wailing
I say, “I don’t know”
Finally words that they can comprehend
Because what I meant to say was:
“I” have emotionally closed myself off from feeling anything since I moved back to America
“Don’t” know if I could visit because it might be too painful
“Know” if my dreams of living overseas are realistic anymore
But my “I Don’t Know” is enough of a response to move on in conversation
But I stay there, chipping away at the truth in the room, waiting for the words to flow out and grab me, bringing me closer to closure
But how do you gain closure from a continent?
Or properly say goodbye to a nation?
There is no one letter I could write or conversation that could sever the pain I have been feeling
For now, there are only three words and a ocean full of memories.
They ask, “How do you feel?”
You struggle for a word, locked behind doors, behind walls, behind ego
One syllable words flow with passive aggression and you’ve learned that “okay” is your favorite answer
You say that they do not need to know
But emotion is asking for the permission to be voiced
Permission to rebound from closed off vocal chords but you have not given the say so
You are shut off, numbed off from the reality that you have not told the truth for a long time
You have gone through the motions and now you are stagnant waters
A pool of water stuck under night and sun, rain and light, dirt and grime, anger and joy, testing and time Continue reading HOW DO YOU FEEL
“Life waits for no one”, they said
So I ran
Shoes in one hand and my dreams in the other I ran for life to discover me and sprinted myself to exhaustion
No one told me that I could turn into my worst enemy against the clock of my own making
I am stuck – waiting for the car in the distance to stop running
Waiting for the engine to give out and release steam, unclogging my faulty brain and all the gears that have convinced me that I can not just give it a rest
Let me know when I can stop
When I can stop running after cars in the distance while I am panting out of breath due to unceasing timed tests Continue reading M.O. (Mode of Operation)
You might be the future
Or you might not be
The present is keeping me from that premonition
But you feel warm to me
Like summer nights and lightning bugs
Continue reading Future Hopes
There are moments when I am dry
Isaiah’s valley of bones could’ve tossed me a stone onto my desolate desert soul
I do not always produce life
Sometimes instead of water, salt pours out of me – rushing like faucets
It’s not always healthy Continue reading MY DESERT TERRAIN – Victoria Angelique